Leaving on a jet plane

It's a rare and funny thing, but sometimes you need to leave everything behind to know what you have. Sometimes you experience a moment of total clarity about your place in the universe. Some time when Slinky was zipping through the lower stratosphere at about 800km/h and about 40,000 feet, she got that feeling.

I'm so grateful that you all come down to say goodbye. And for not making me cry. Though I think that was more due to my mother yelling "HURRY UP YOU'RE GOING TO MISS THE PLANE!" rather than bcause of any lack of sentimentality.

I will always, always remember Miss C and Miss J yelling "BYEEEE!" at the top of their lungs when I was on the other side of the glass and them telling me that it was my mission to conquer Australia as the emissary of the Honey Trappers, should I choose to accept it. I have been re-christened Slinky Sexbringer of the Honey Trappers.

"Crime AND punishment!" Miss J mused.

I have not forgotten our vow to pole-dance to the Majullah Singapura

I must admit to one moment of weakness though, just after I cleared immigration. I was sprinting for my gate and was in mid-stride when this loud voice suddenly spoke up in my head, saying "I can't do this!" It startled me so much I stopped dead in my tracks. And for just a split second, the panic I heard in my head made me want to turn back and sprint through immigration and run into The Boy's arms and beg him to make mad sweet love to me all night long and never to let me indulge in such foolishness again. Don't laugh, it was a near thing. But I started running for the gate again instead.

It's been a really rough first day. I touched down having not slept at all. Because the Slinky life is never boring, I was seated next to a slightly nutty woman who had an "SIA: Assisted" sticker on her chest in bright yellow, and who kept trying to look at my video screen (I later understood that this was because she couldn't understand how to operate hers) and who spoke in a language I cannot even begin to identify. She also wanted me to help her fill up her customs declaration form. I think not.

I haven't eaten or slept in about 24 hours. But I saw endless blue skies and clear blue water and I walked in bright hot sweet sunshine by the beach in the evening. A bus driver, when asked if he had change or a twenty, said so, and when I exclaimed in dismay, told me it was okay because that day I was riding for free.

It still hasn't sunk in that I'm going to be here or such a long time. I still feel like I did before I left, like I've gone for a vacation which I wasn't particularly looking forward to and with people I don't like. I haven't had time to feel miserable and lonely and miss all of you fully yet. I've been grumpy and tired and irritable and frazzled, but not miserable.

Then again, this might be because after a day which ended with me feeling indescribly icky, I took an almost heavenly shower in freezing water and opened all your presents and read all your letters and you guys just made my day, my month, my year. Thank you for the beautiful gloves that make me feel terribly motorcycle chick that are also so practical. My fingers are always the first to suffer in cold weather. Thank you also for the insane green eyeliner, I love that shit. Thank you for the Ralph Lauren sweater. That is cuddly and soft and which comes with bragging rights. And dear god in heaven, thank you for the iPod. I literally screamed when I opened up the wrapping. Then did a shaky sort of dance of joy (my feet hurt from all the getting lost and walking around for hours and hours in cowboy boots). Your letters made me laugh out loud. I am deeply touched.

Thank you all for helping, in one way or another to getting me to where I am now. I love you guys and I miss you all and I still wish you could come with me.