Quid pro quo

Something I wrote after something I read.

Tell her she's beautiful, even if she's just woken up and she's got pillow face and comical hair. Tell her you love her in the middle of a fight and mean it. Stroke her hair and run your hands through it. Hold her hand and walk. Hold her hand and run. Just hold her hand. Love her like she could be taken away from you any second, and let her know you do. Surprise her with flowers even if there's no occasion for them. Orchids are not flowers, unless she loves them, then buy her bunches. Keep her safe, and offer to beat up the people who've hurt her, even if you couldn't punch your way out of a paper bag. Trust her to be smart enough to stop you from making good on that offer. Make her laugh, as often as you can, every day if you can, because it will take you far for when you can't. Listen to her when she needs to talk, even if it makes absolutely no sense to you, even if you think the whole thing's stupid, because it's not stupid to her. Laugh at her if you will, but let her hide behind you anyway at the scary parts of the movie. Be spontaneous. Whisk her away on random holidays and resort to a map as infrequently as possible. Go exploring to places you've never been, and find wonder at all the things you've never seen. Never agree with her when she says she's fat. Ever. Try new things with her. Read her mind. Know when she's lying when you ask her what's wrong and she says "nothing". She wants you to figure out what's wrong without her having to tell you. You'll have to figure out how to do that yourself. Slow dance with her even if there's no music. Go running in the rain with her, pneumonia be damned. Tell her you're sorry when it's your fault. Respect her space but let her into yours. Sing to her. Buy her ice cream. Carry the heavy things for her, even if she protests and says she can manage. Let her take all the photos of you that she wants. Kiss her often. Don't drool when you do. Tell her about your childhood. Don't tell her too much about exes, even if she asks. She says she wants to know, but really, she's lying. Never, ever, hurt her, even if you're mad with her. Hold her when she's sad, listen to her when she needs to vent. Don't make her cry. Baby her even if she insists she doesn't need it, she just doesn't want to look weak in front of you. Always make sure the sex is mind-blowing, whether it's three-hour long foreplay or wild monkey sex in front of mirrors. You can tease her about having too many shoes but never stop her from buying another pair (you won't succeed anyway). Always appreciate the lingerie; it cost a lot of money for so little cloth. Never, ever ask her if it's PMS. Let her steal your shirts to sleep in. Get jealous every now and then; she likes it.

In return she will promise to respect your space (although not without the occasional grumble). She will laugh when you tell the same joke for the 23rd time, just like she laughs when you quote yet again from Star Wars/Star Trek/ Indiana Jones/ Back to the Future. She will tell you that your body makes her knees go weak even if she privately thinks that you should get your money back from the gym. She will kiss you even if your face is an oil slick, and not surreptitiously wipe her lips with the back of her hand after that. She will look you right in the eye and when you ask what she's looking at, she'll tell you "You", and smile. She will swallow, not spit. And kiss you like you were Brad Pitt. She will cook for you (although she cannot vouch for the results). She will wear those little skirts you like even if she would honestly rather wear jeans because then she can sit any damn way she pleases and won't have to shave her legs as a bonus. She will dress up for functions she'd rather not be at just so you can make the other guys envious. She will give you back rubs just because you like them. She won't complain (much) when you spend quality time with your car. She will understand the importance of guy time. She will use the word 'hot' and not 'cute' when she describes you to her friends. She will be nice to your mother. She will try her damndest not to nag at you. She will not borrow your razor to shave her legs. She will, through mysterious alchemical processes unknown of to men, always smell clean and sweet. She will not try and cut your hair herself. She will not let you go out looking like a hobo. She will understand your need to be a pig every now and then. She will let you look at other women (because she's also looking at other men), just as long as it's understood that looking is all it is. She will try not to freak out and be an insane female. She will unwittingly be amusing and not get upset when you laugh when that happens. She will wear those high heels in the bedroom. She will not diss your ex(es). Much. She will respect your need to watch sports even if she thinks the only good thing is the uniforms they wear. She will understand the whole porn thing. She will adore you, even if she never says it to you. She will look up to you and revel in how 'man' you are, although this too, will never be admitted out loud. She will not 'accidentally' throw out the hole-y T-shirt you love which she hates. Most of all, in return, she will let you into her heart and give you everything that she is.

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Writing it made me realize that when it came to what women do for men, it's more of us refraining from doing something rather than actively doing something for them. But we want a lot more.
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Conversation betwen Slinky and The Boy earlier tonight:

The Boy: "Mmmmmmm...I don't deserve you."
Slinky: "Yes, I know."