There must be a God.

Eating a very strange dinner by candlelight, Godspeed You Black Emperor spooling out from the massive Marshall amps in the next room, chocolate brownie ice cream for dessert and chased with kisses from the chef. Then gently extricating myself from reluctant arms and meeting friends at a pub and realizing I've found, quite by pure luck, someone who might just be my new best friend.

We walk five blocks in 3-inch heels, freezing our asses off but too drunk to care, laughing our heads off over fishing, bad boys with rat-tails, cigarettes and the fallibility of our joints. We flop on her couch and gossip madly about the futility of our colleague's mad, futile love for another ("I told her, "You know he's still totally into you right?" and she looked like she was going to vomit!"), the perks of singlehood amidst a sea of marrieds, couples and mothers-to-bes.

After far too long (I told the chef an hour and a half ago I'd be back 'soon'), I stagger back down the street and flop on another couch where the candlelight makes trippy patterns on the ceiling and walls and I can't open my eyes because I'm so tired and sort of drunk but it's so comfortable because he's stroking my back and planting kisses on my hair and forehead.

Saturday is breakfast with one of my favorite people in the world at my favorite café near the harbor, the sun warm and the bacon crisp and salty . ("I ate 30 cookies in a shot." "My god, your pancreas!"). There is so much to say and never enough time. We walk around and then head to the beach, where the water is an insanely glorious shade of aquamarine and a ferocious wind whips the fine-grained sand against our calves. And we talk about what matters to us and where we're at with our lives and our grand plans to climb mountains and ride deserts and take off for the wild unknowns.

And I realize again what I realized a while ago: that even though I had not been happy in years, even though I am chronically sleep-deprived and exams are in two weeks, even though I'm always broke and I have no idea where my future is headed, I am happy with my life.