More adventures in cultural stereotyping

Usual disclaimer of "does not apply to all blah satire blah entertainment blah sue blah blah not liable blah" okay, onwards with the post.

Remember this post?

Sometimes others do unto us.

I know it seems petty, but it still sometimes irks me when Caucasians think that all Asian people are alike. Worse when many of them just assume that Asia = Third World with a concurrent inability to string together a decent sentence in English.

So it still annoys me when people like the woman at the International Office tells me, with genuine warmth, "You know, it still surprises me how well you all speak English!" I'm sure she means it as a compliment, but I've heard it so many times (tinged with surprise) that sometimes I cannot help but translate it in my head as "I'm amazed you have opposable thumbs!"

And when I met the non-smoking Sri Lankan , we were thrilled that we were meeting a fellow Asian and exclaming about it. We were doing this in front of a sweet Australian girl who later rode with us to the City.

"So you're both from the same country?" she asked us.
Sri Lankan and I looked at each other in confusion.
"Do we look alike?" I asked her with horror, thinking that perhaps I really did spend too much time in the sun after all.
"No, but you said you were both Asians," she said, looking confused.
"Duh, 'Asia' isn't a country," her friend told her.

*facepalm*

Sometimes we do unto others.

Then again, sometimes we ourselves are to blame.

It can be fun to manipulate the relative ignorance that some Caucasians have of Asia to your advantage. As far as many people are concerned, there is no difference between China and Singapore, and Koreans, Japanese, and Chinese are indistinguishable from one another. Malaysia and Indonesia are concepts which are just too complicated for most people.

I will not forget the time that during an international competition, we told Team Israel that one of our members was actually the descendent of the last Emperor of China, making her a real-life princess. They attempted to bow to her but we assured them that it wasn't necessary as she would rather not flaunt her royal status. I think they still believe it.

Then there was yesterday, when I bought Australian sausages for the first time. They were reduced to clear and I had sodium cravings. Back home, sausages tend to be of the cocktail wiener variety varying only in size and pinkness, with no discernible meat product, which you can nuke in a microwave. They tend to be pre-cooked and don’t tend to have real skins per se, and are just barely classifiable as an actual food item. But they're very firm with a twangy sort of rubber-band feel, and they're good comfort junk food if you're in a pinch.

When I opened the package of Australian sausages and tried to pull one out, I recoiled in horror.

"It's SQUISHY!" I yelped.

My housemates stare at me with bemusement.

"Erm, yeah."
"And they're all linked! Wow!"
"Yes..."
"Oh my god. Squishy, squishy - okay, I'm going to nuke them."
"What?"
"You know, put them in the microwave."
Pandemonium. Apparently I have committed some sort of blasphemy by suggesting that I put Australian sausages in the microwave instead of barbecuing or grilling them.
"How about I just boil them?" I suggested.
You would have thought that I was suggesting that they sacrifice their firstborns on an altar to Satan.
"Do you know what goes into those sausages?" says LovesHerDog. "It's by products! And eyeballs and things! And you want to boil it?"
"Yeah, sure!" I say happily. "It's no big deal. I mean, kway chap is boiled."
"What?"

I tell them about kway chap.
They are horrified.

"Okay, so maybe that didn’t help things." I said. "But hello, I'm Chinese! We eat everything!" I tell them about fish eyes, tongue, chicken gizzards, frog porridge and turtle soup.
They look a little green. To make up for it, I compromise and fry the sausage.
"Hey, this is really good!" I say after my first bite.
They leave the room.
"Guys?"

I think today I'll tell them about eating pigs' blood. There's some leftover pizza in the fridge and if I gross them out enough maybe I get the rest of it.

Oh, and InfernoXV showed this to me. So tell me about myself, already. No retributions, I promise.

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