Progress

I've lost weight in the past few weeks. According to the scales near my kitchen (I don't know which fiend has strategically placed it next to the fridge.), I've lost 7 kg. I'm disinclined to believe it since I can still see my shadow when I turn sideways, so I'd say it's more like 4 or 5 kilos. It comes from the not eating. Forget Atkins. 1000 underage models can't be wrong.

The result is a greyhound-sleek body which I haven't seen since I was about 16. There's natural concavity in the horizontal axis from hip to hip, and my ribs are just visible. Everything's pared down to muscle. Unfortunately, my skinny jeans don't fit any more.

I have, in a manner entirely without precedent, refused cupcakes, pizza, chocolate, profiteroles, cream puffs, apple pie, burgers and various other unhealthy temptations proffered by friends trying to get me to eat. But recently, in a driven attempt at forcefeeding myself, I'm managed to eat more than one meal a day, so I've put back about 2 kg from what I've lost.

The other day, I managed, in a truly heroic effort to give a damn, I organized an outing for 8 people and managed to drag everyone out to a place which once won an award for having the Best Pizza in the World, and managed to snarf 6 slices in a single sitting, which is more than any single meal that I've had in the last 4 weeks. Heck, it's probably more than anything in a single day in the last 4 weeks.

To reward myself, I went shopping, and managed to pick up a cerulean-blue floor-length dress for The Other Cat's wedding, two new dresses, pair of red heels, a top and two necklaces, costing a grand total of$50.

I still drive too fast, too hard. I still find myself shlumped on the couch in plaid pajama pants that now threaten to fall off my hips, watch bad slasher movies think, "yeah, well, at least you're not ME." when one of the nubile blondes bites the dust. But I no longer have the sudden urge to drive into the nearest speeding 18-wheeler because I am just so damned tired of feeling so tired.

Progress is taking pleasure again in the little things.