Sex, slaughter and surgery

What a week.

1. I miss out on about 3 hours of pure, exquisite bliss. NAKED bliss. Because I am stuck in this bloody state, damn it. Then I find out it could have more than 3 hours. Life is so unfair.

2. Oh, and just to cap it all off, I find out that there may have been plastic surgery involved. I swear, this just keeps getting better and better.

3. Speaking of surgery, I discover that surgery is extremely difficult when your patient tries to get up off the table and make a run for it despite having some of the insides being on the outside. You haven't done suturing until you've got your forearms pressed against your patient to prevent escape and the muscle layers keep retracting because of an increased respiration rate and you're doing your best not to sew yourself to the rectus abdominus.

4. I went to an event where I was practically the only non-Indian there. The other non-Indian was the pet mope, who proceeded to get hilariously drunk and speak very loudly, then apologize randomly to various people. She also pressed her nose a lot, and proclaimed that people were evil. I also discovered that when Indian men (as in, from India, I'm not talking racial stereotyping here) hit on you, subtlety is not the order of the day. There seems to be grabbing involved. And don't dance bhangra with them. It's too tiring. I haven't done that much shoulder isolation and jump kicks since that muay thai class.

5. I became a one-woman sweatshop and churn out no fewer than five surgical scrub caps. Then The Bear (my landlord) liked them so much he decided he wanted one too for when he rode his Harley around. The Raj correctly pointed out that a scrub cap will not save him from cranial trauma, but I think he just likes the way it looks. Plus, he probably gets sunburn because he's bald. So I'm going to need to squeeze out another scrub cap some time soon, because you don't say no to a man who reduced your rent by $15 a week.

6. I've lost my appetite again. I've only eaten two meals a day since Friday and I'm not sure what's going on. Right in time for me to keel over on my epic (for me) 12km race coming up in 2 weeks. And my running buddy's done full marathons. And it's uphill. I am so screwed.

7. I recapture my youth last night by playing Diablo with the boys. Clarification: I haven't played Diablo in about 5 years, so when I say 'played' I mean I got lost a lot while I tried to remember how to play ("Guys? Where the hell are you? Guys?"). Which also meant dying. A lot. But the fever has been sparked, damnit, Thank god I forgot to download the game into my laptop, or else no work would have been done today.

8. Fuelled by no food and some wine, the boys and I jump online last night and I show them Captain Starlight (who is awfully cute), which practically caused Hachar to foam at the mouth because I have not attempted immediate seduction. To prevent death by nagging, I respond. Not five minutes later, Captain Starlight fires up a chat. Cue excited squealing. I swear, aside from the penises, it was like a slumber party.

9. I finally find out tonight what Captain Starlight does for a living. Man, this just keeps getting better.

10. The late night plus mental distraction of impending surgery tomorrow plus Captain Starlight meant I forgot to check on my patient this morning. Christ, I'm going to cop it tomorrow.

Wonder what's going to happen this week?