The Faerytale (or how to be happy)

(note: I'm to sick to edit this properly, it may be tweaked later)

A long time ago, in a land not too far away, there was a princess. She lived in a vast castle made of shimmering white marble imported from a land that was very far away, and had cost a lot of money. Below the castle was spread the rest of the vast city. But the princess was never allowed to visit the rest of the city. "It's not safe!" the Council of Elders would twitter in consternation when the princess suggested a little jaunt outside the castle walls.

The Council of Elders knew what was best for the princess. The Council of Elders was made up of very wise old men, who had inherited their position from their fathers, who had inherited their position from their fathers. So naturally they knew what they were talking about. The princess would sigh and agree that yes, perhaps it wasn't safe, but from time to time, she would cast longing glances down at the bustle of color and movement anyway.

This princess wasn't like a typical princesses. This princess wasn't famed for her beauty or renown for breathtaking needlework. This princess wouldn't play the harpsichord, and her embroidery was a disaster. In fact, if you put the princes sin commoner's garb, she would look just like any other person. Worse yet, the princess, sad to say, was not a pliable meek thing. Instead, she often, shocking had An Opinion, which showed every sign of developing into Thinking Independently. "Whatever will we do with her?" the Council of Elders would exclaim when they held meetings with their eldermen, clutching their wise skulls in consternation. "How ever will we marry her off to have the heirs to the kingdom and seal political alliances?"

"Maybe she doesn't want to be married off and have heirs?" suggested one new elderman tentatively, who had just entered the inner sanctum of advisers and had no idea of the way things were done. He was tall and thin and stooped, with a kindly face and gentle manner. He showed worrying signs, thought the other Council members, of not Thinking Alike. "I mean, what about her happiness?"

"Her...happiness?" said one Council Elder, his disgusted tone making it sound like something he had found decaying at the bottom of the compost heap. "Please. We're talking about the good of the kingdom here. And she is just a princess. There are new princesses every generation. Sometimes more than one."

And so the discussion went on.

The princess, of course, was oblivious to the worried discussions about her utility to the kingdom, and carried on a blissfully ignorant existence. This mainly consisted of trying to avoid needlework, harpsichord and etiquette lessons. Also her tutors, who mainly told her all about the kingdom's glorious past, present, and future, waxing lyrical about vast technological advancements (shire horses instead of peasants!) and how she, the princess, too, could contribute to it, if only she would sit...still...for...JUST...five...minutes (the last usually spoken through gritted teeth). All of this bored the princess immensely. So the princess escaped her lessons when she could and running away with her horse, Lucifer, for wild rides across the massive castle grounds. Of course the Council of Elders disapproved mightily and whenever she was caught, she had to endure lectures for hours on the proper behavior of a princess and how unbecoming it was. In truth, the Council just worried that this hoyden-ish behavior would further decrease the princess' chances for a good betrothal.

One day, after letting Lucifer cool down from another rigorous run away from various tutors, the princess noticed something unusual as they wandered close to one the castle walls.

"Hello, what's this?" she said, and pushed some hanging ivy aside.

And there, set in the old, crumbling stone of the castle, was a gate.

Perhaps the people in the castle had forgotten about it, the princess thought. The wall was the furthest away from the castle, and that was a very very long distance away indeed. And the gate was very, very old. "I wonder where it goes", breathed the princess, and she looked for a lock. There wasn't one.

Twenty minutes later the castle blacksmith was startled by the sight of the princess marching very determinedly into his workshop, getting her silk overskirts disgracefully dirty. So surprised was he that he forgot to bow. "I want a crowbar!" she said, hand on hip, all her lessons on deportment forgotten. The blacksmith stared at her. "Now why on earth would a nice princess like you want a grubby crowbar for?" The princess, never to take to a patronizing manner lying down, tossed her head pertly and said, "Never you mind. Just get me one." She screwed up her face as a ghost of her etiquette lessons came back to haunt her. "Please," she added, a trifle reluctantly.

Thirty minutes after that, if you stood behind a certain section of the castle wall, you'd hear a very un-princess-like grunting and cursing, and the sound of metal on metal. Then a muffled, slightly breathless "Oh!"

There, in front of the princess, was a hole, which led to a tunnel. Which led to goodness-knows-where. The princess looked around, then told Lucifer sternly, "You'd better wait for me!" and then started down into the unknown.

And emerged into light, sound and color.

She'd never seen such..... freedom.

She said nothing to anyone, but when she returned half a day later, her gown torn, her hair disheveled, her eyes were distracted during the usual penances she uttered during the lecture by the Council on her duty to the kingdom, as if she was seeing something else besides the group of stern Elders arranged before her.

Three days later, the Council of Elders brought her to the vast throne antechamber, glittering and sparkling with a myriad lights and crystals. "Our dear princess," the Council said, "it is time for you to do your princessly duty, and pick your betrothed. Waiting in the next antechamber are princes from foreign lands, all seeking your hand in marriage. We have picked only the best, the most useful of the princes, in order to strengthen the kingdom's political alliances and boundaries."

"And what of my happiness?" the princess asked.

The Council of Elders hemmed and hawed, and exchanged bewildered glances. "Well, come now, you cannot be so selfish as to place your own needs above the needs of the empire. You are a princess."

"Am I really?" the princess asked archly. "Am I then to understand that because I am a princess, I am to subjugate the rest of my life to fulfill the destiny of the kingdom, to put aside my own desires and my own happiness in order to work only for interests of the kingdom?"

"Yes, yes," nodded the Council of Elders. "Now you've got it!"

"Well what if I told you that it was all rubbish? What if I told you that I left the castle the other day? And that I met a man, who asked me who I was. And when I told him I was the princess of the realm, he laughed at me and said that there was no such thing, and there had never been? There is no king, there is no queen. Without those, there cannot be a princess. You have made me believe that I was a princess to serve your needs. But really, I'm just some girl, aren't I? And this," she said, tugging the jeweled crown off her hair, "has no more meaning than the brand that is used on cattle to denote ownership. Take your crown, and keep your kingdom. I resign."

With that, the princess flung her crown to the floor and turned to stomp out of the antechamber.

"Wait!" the Council screamed. "You cannot do this! You can't leave all of this behind! The wealth, the comfort, the way of life! After all we've done for you! You'll die out there! It's not safe!"

The princess paused. "Maybe not. But sometimes the price is too high. At least out there, I'm free. Besides," she said archly, "you can always find another girl. There's another sucker born every minute, if I've got the saying right."

And she left the cast castle of shimmering white marble forever.

I don't know if she lived happily ever after. I doubt it. But sometimes it doesn't matter.

The letter.

Is written.