I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter

To the person from Malaysia who has found my site by searching for 'Club Med Cherating', a word of wisdom from The Slinky Cat: Don't go.

The security is terrible, the management haphazard and their aftercare total shite.

I have yet to hear from them regarding my insurance claim, my two-month-old Nokia handphone, stolen from my locked hotel room, remains uncompensated three months after the incident took place.

The intruder who broke into our room (in a completely separate incident from the stolen handphone) remains unidentified and unpunished, and our only consolation for the fact that it took security 20 minutes to arrive after four frantic calls, is a pathetic letter from the club manager (who initially knew nothing about the incident despite alleged daily security reports by their security staff) where he tells us that 'all necessary measures have been taken'. Which could mean that they have shredded their security reports to wear as wigs for Crazy Hair Night.

Their beaches are infested with jellyfish who sneak up on you in order to sting you savagely, without any warning whatsoever, not even a considerate "oy" to warn of their approach.

So don't go to Club Med Cherating. Take your hard-earned ringgit and go somewhere else more enjoyable. Like Iraq.
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And, just a thought from the inestimable Oscar Wilde:

"There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution."

Sound familiar darlings?

The Slinky Cat says cheer up crispy cuttlefish rocks because we can't all be smart bitches.